Sometimes i really feel like i waste so much of what i have been given. The older and more mature i become the more i see the gifts and talents God has granted to me…and how i squander all of them in whatever i feel like in a moment. In FL i used some of them, but not all…but that was FL…i use even less here. Of course i had perfect opportunities almost served to me on a silver platter there, and here i have to pursue all of them. And its not that i haven’t pursued any, I have, Its just that i am not a very self-motivated individual…one of my most frustrating characteristics. I realize that none of my dreams (NONE OF THEM) are possible without that trait, so somehow this needs to change.
Oh and dreams? How about finishing my bachelors in ministry, going back to school for music theory and composure, and a whole bunch of others which i wouldn’t dare utter due to how ridiculous they seem……..and one in particular which i cant utter even if i wanted.
At the end of the day i find myself missing the culture i found myself in a year ago…and how my time was wasted.